7 Big Parenting Mistakes

(Besides the funny hat.)

Here’s a short list of mistakes that all parents can make when it comes to seeing, understanding, and biblically responding to the spiritual growing pains of life. (This is as much to myself as to others.) Stop and think about it—and pray for godly wisdom in responding to the issues of your children’s heart with proper compassion, authority, and biblical instruction.

Too often, when our kids struggle, this is our reaction:

1. Denial – denying issues or naively thinking that there aren’t any issues to deal with.

2. Embarrassment – hoping others don’t find out about an issue—which causes me to not seek help or counsel.

3. Defensiveness – taking offense at someone’s attempt to deal with an issue, or allowing my child to avoid personal responsibility by blaming others.

4. Unresponsiveness – knowing there’s an issue but hoping it will just go away on its own (you know—a phase.)

5. Weariness – knowing there’s an issue, but being too tired to respond, or becoming discouraged that nothing I’ve tried appears to be working.

6. Duplicity – not wanting to deal with my own issue, and thus, creating an allowance for my child’s.

7. Over-reaction – blowing up over the issue rather than contexualizing it biblically and responding appropriately.

The answers: 1. Expect your kids to struggle. 2. And since everybody’s kids struggle, don’t be embarrassed when they do. 3. Be supportive when another authority loves your child enough to help—even if the child whines about it. 4. Don’t expect issues to disappear, they usually get worse. (See this article about passive parenting.) 5. No matter how tired or discouraged you are, don’t stop doing the right things—like praying and laboring. 6. Be willing to examine your own heart first so you can authentically help your child. 7. Put every issue into the context of obeying and honoring God, and respond in that light.

Let’s face it, our best parenting skills cannot cover for the fact that we’re human! We all have blind spots. And our children all have an enemy who is targeting them. Every kid has issues and every parent is called of God to biblically nurture and lead through those issues. Expect the enemy to come after your kids—and ask God for wisdom in strength to do the right thing when he does.

“…bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

Thanks to www.caryschmidt.com!

25 Ways to Kill Your Marriage

1. Demand that your spouse meets your needs.

2. Pout when you don't get your way.

3. Use the silent treatment when you are mad.

4. Always put yourself first.

5. Be critical.

6. Tell your spouse they need to change, but you make no effort to change.

7. Ignore your spouses needs.

8. Make no effort to improve yourself or your marriage.

9. Never compliment your spouse.

10. Speak negatively about your spouse around other people.

11. Make no effort to keep yourself "looking good" for your spouse.

12. Use derogatory names like stupid, dumb, ignorant and idiot.

13. Always blame your spouse for the problems. It's never your fault.

14. Take your mate for granted.

15. Quit trying to impress your spouse (you're married, it's not needed anymore).

16. Withhold sex to punish your spouse.

17. Never take any time to get away without the kids.

18. When arguing ... bring up old stuff from the past.

19. Have a short fuse.

20. When angry be verbally abusive.

21. Never seek outside help when you come to an impasse.

22. Don't tell your spouse how much you love or appreciate them. Just expect them to know it.

23. Have a "it's my way or the highway" attitude.

24. Spend more time with your friends than your spouse.

25. Never say "I love you."

Thanks again to www.treymorgan.net!

Maintain Your Marriage

Do you know why some yards and lawns look much nicer than others?  It's called maintenance.  The more work you put into it, the better it looks.  Do you know why some cars run longer, and bring more when they're traded in? It's called maintenance.  You take care of them and they'll last.  Do you know why some people live longer or healthier than others? You guessed it, maintaining a healthy lifestyle helps.

When we don't maintain those things in life that are important to us we often find ourselves asking, "How did I get in this mess?"   And one of the things many people neglect and take for granted is their marriage.  Many husbands and wives simply think that things will continue to go well even when no work or  maintenance is done in their marriage.   So many who neglect their marriage, years down the road, wonder how they ever got their marriage into the mess it's in.  

So, what are some simple things we do to maintain and grow in our relationships with our spouses?  Here are a few ideas ...

• Make it a priority to set aside one night a week for a date with your spouse.  
• Take an over night trip together (without kids) once or twice a year.
• Read a book together. 
• Talk.
• Take a walk together. 
• Do pre-marriage things again like writing notes and sending flowers.
• Call during the day to simply say hello. 
• Make God a priority in your life.

The key is to maintain and grow in your marriage, instead of waiting until things are bad to start looking for answers.  Unfortunately sometimes when we wait until things get bad ... we've waited too long.

Can you imagine a man who has spent years neglecting his health, going to the doctor and saying, "Make me better quick."  Doctors can't fix years of neglect overnight (and sometimes not at all).   Fixing years of neglect often takes months and years.  And if it can be fixed, then it takes time, hard work and discipline to get your body back on track.  The same is true if you've neglected your marriage.  It may not be able to be fixed over night, but with time, hard work and discipline ... you can get it back on track. 

Don't wait until your marriage needs an overhaul to try and save it ... do some maintenance today!

Can you think of some other things you can do to maintain a marriage?

Thanks to www.treymorgan.net!

Free Bible Study Tools

Here are some tools to help you study the Bible...

Looking up verses is a breeze at Biblegateway.com. You can search by verse reference (ie John 3:16), keywords (ie God, love) or by topic (grace, friends). It's a tool I use in preparing virtually every lesson I teach.

Another great tool is the downloadable e-Sword. This program will allow you to do most of the searches Biblegateway makes available, but it will also give you access to commentaries, dictionaries and Greek/Hebrew definitions. The built in notepad allows you to keep track of subjects you are studying.

Technology has made studying the Bible a lot easier. Let me know if you know of a study tool that has helped you!

-Bro. Chris

Three More “How’s” and the Prize Picture

Study the prize picture you see here in case of a tie.  Be ready to give me the three new “how’s” of the changed Christian life we learned this past Sunday!

Not the “What”…but the “How”

I believe that more Christians struggle with the “How” of Christianity than they do with the “What.”  It is easier to get a grasp of “what” God wants us to be as He changes us into the image of His Son.  It’s a little harder to understand “how” that is accomplished.  We learned three “how’s” regarding living the changed Christian life.  Tell me what they were on this Sunday!

Get to know the Prize Picture above in case we need a tie breaker!

Colossians Quiz and Prize Picture

Here are a few questions you may want to familiarize yourself with…you may want to know the answers too!

According to last week’s lesson:

• How do you walk with God?
• What did Jesus nail to His cross?
• What is drawing you away from God?
• What is the foundation for a life that is changed by Christ?

Get to know the Prize Picture in case we need a tie breaker!